“It started like fireworks” - when love becomes toxic

Taylor Swift’s latest release ‘Patient Zero’ captures the intensity of falling in love hard and fast: I bet he burst into your life like fireworks, I bet he even said ‘I love you’ first. The video clip, starring Dakota Johnson and Colin Farrell, depicts the two-sides of an intense love affair; from the heady whirlwind of perfect romance to toxic and harmful behaviour when in private.

“Did this happen to you too?” The power of sharing experiences

Swift has explained that the inspiration for Patient Zero is women comparing notes about an abusive partner. For someone who is questioning or doubting their own judgement about whether they are experiencing family violence, asking ‘did this happen to you too?’ can provide validation and clarity.

Canberra mother calls for change to family violence protections

Locally, local mother Emma Poppe has publicly shared her own experiences with struggling to leave a violent relationship, resulting in her being distanced from her family and suffering in silence for many years. Ms Poppe is advocating for a ‘Clare’s Law’ Family Violence Disclosure Scheme to be established. A petition currently containing more than 500 signatures supports calling on the ACT government to implement a similar scheme. The proposed scheme would permit police to disclose relevant, historical domestic violence conduct to potential victims, and may allow friends, family and other professionals to raise concerns about someone who may be at risk. The intention of the scheme would be to inform and help possible victims to recognise violent conduct before it escalates. The scheme proposes consulting with victim-survivors, domestic violence services, police and legal experts.

Recognising the signs before behaviour escalates

The recognition at the heart of Patient Zero—someone else experienced this too—can be a beginning of helping you name what has been happening in a harmful relationship. Patient Zero has resonated with fans for its portrayal of the disconnect between public charm and private behaviour. Someone can be incredibly charismatic to family and friends but also be emotionally unsafe. That distinction can be difficult to explain to people outside the relationship. Living with it can result in anxiety, doubt and fear.

Understanding your options and finding support

At Parker Coles Curtis we help you understand your options. Whether you need support with safety planning to leave an abusive relationship for you and any children involved, to work out parenting arrangements for children after separation, child support, dividing property and assets or arrangements for pets – our trauma-informed, non-judgmental lawyers will guide you with compassion and empathy to a new beginning.

For domestic, family or sexual violence support, contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or text 0458 737 732. If you are in immediate danger, call 000.