For some, feelings of hopelessness, loneliness and despair can be heightened during the holiday season, especially for those that are in the process of separation and divorce. These emotions can come in swiftly or lurk in the background and have the potential to lead to crisis points during this time.

While we’re in the lead up to Christmas, it’s a good time to take stock of your mental state and your support network that you can call on, should things escalate for you. If you find that your support network is lacking, become familiar with mental health resources and crisis support lines that are available during this time.

Be aware of your existing support network

Have a think about trusted friends, family and other professional support that you already have, note down their contact details and availability so you have them on hand to reach out if you need to.

It’s a good time to be in touch with your counsellor or psychologist and book a final appointment before the break, or schedule one after the break. If you don’t have a counsellor or psychologist, you can book an appointment with your GP to talk about your mental health.

You could also check in with trusted friends or family members and ask for some extra support, which might look like asking them to check in with some extra text messages, scheduling phone or video calls or even a get together. If you are able to, let them know where you’re at mentally and discuss your plans to get through this time.

Don’t forget your legal support

If you have a lawyer, reach out now with any nagging concerns about your separation or parenting matter so that you have a clear plan or, at the very least, have a clear understanding about your options. Knowing your lawyer’s opening hours and availability over the break is a good idea.

While your lawyer’s office is closed over the break:

1. If you have immediate concerns for your safety or the safety of your children, call the police on 000. The courts provide limited access to decide urgent legal issues over the festive period.
2. If you weren’t separated before the holidays but during the holidays it becomes necessary, there is no requirement for either person to move out of the shared home, subject to any family violence risks.
3. If one person does move out of the shared home and there are children involved, care arrangements for the children should be the priority, endeavoring to make sure the children have a meaningful relationship with both parents during this time. Remember, you must also ensure that the children are protected from physical or psychological harm from being exposed to abuse, neglect, or family violence whilst in the other parent’s care.
4. In terms of property, if you feel comfortable and safe doing so, you may wish to start informal discussions with your former partner. Working out assets and how you wish to divide your assets will be the starting point.
5. You may wish to contact mediation services such as Relationships Australia (Canberra & Region) or Conflict Resolution Services to begin the mediation process.

Whatever your situation, when you are unable to see your lawyer, keeping a journal of dates and relevant notes will be helpful.

Mental health resources

There is a large amount of support resources available and here are just a few:

1. My mental health offers mental health carer and family support resources
2. SANE Forums connect you with people who’ve been there too
3. Helping Minds has tips for protecting your wellbeing
4. Dear Mind has tips on how to take time for yourself

Other phone support

Parentline ACT is available to any person who wants information and someone to talk to about parenting. It is a free phone services available from Monday to Friday 9-4pm (excluding public holidays). Call 02 6287 3833.

ADIS (alcohol and drug support) – 1800 177 833­

Lifeline – 13 11 14

Beyond blue – 1300 22 4636

Suicide Call Back Service – 1300 659 467

In an emergency call 000.

Support for children and young people

For children whose parents are going through separation and divorce the holiday season can be a struggle.

If your child needs extra support the following services may be useful to know about.

Menslink provide counselling support to boys and young men (aged 10-25) in Canberra and the surrounding region to help them get through tough times. The services is no cost and you can make an appointment online by filling out their Help request form and they will get back to you within 2 business days. Their services close from Monday 23 December and they will reopen on Monday 6 January.

Headspace: A range of counselling and other services for all young people.

Reach Out: A great online information service for young people and their parents.

Kids Helpline: Online info and 24-hour crisis counselling (phone, web and email) for young people up to age 25. Contact: 1800 551 880

The ACT Government has a comprehensive listing of the Government’s Child Mental Health Services, including crisis support.

Support if you (or someone you know) is experiencing domestic, family and sexual violence

Unfortunately, separation is a time where the risk of family violence is increased. The following services are essential to know about.

The Domestic Violence Crises Service (DVCS) is for those in the ACT seeking support, information and counselling. Call: 02 80 0900 (24/7)

For all other states and territories, you can call, chat online or text 1800RESPECT Call: 1800 737 732 (24/7). Chat online at 1800respect.org.au Text: 058 737 732

If you’re concerned about mental health challenges this holidays season, remember you are not alone. Now is the time to assess where you’re at mentally and take stock of your existing support network (including your lawyer) and if you need additional resources and support to reach out where you can and take note of relevant services, so you have them when you need them most.

Remember in an emergency always call 000.

Please note that these suggestions are general in nature and do not constitute professional advice.

Parker Coles Curtis will be closed from 2pm Friday 20 December 2024 and will reopen on Monday 6 January 2025.