The festive season can be magical for children- long summer days, family traditions, special meals and the excitement of Christmas. But for separated families, this time of year can also bring stress, complicated logistics and heightened emotions.

Co-parenting doesn’t get easier simply because it’s Christmas. In fact, the holidays often intensify existing challenges around communication, expectations and time-sharing.

The good news? With a child-focused approach and a few simple strategies, separated parents can create a holiday season that feels calm, predictable and joyful for their children.

Here are supportive, practical tips to help families navigate the festive season with care.

1. Start with early, clear communication

Holiday plans work best when both parents have plenty of notice. Reach out early to discuss:

• Christmas Eve / Christmas Day arrangements
• Travel plans
• School holiday schedules
• Handovers and timing
• Extended family commitments
• Special celebrations in each household

Putting everything in writing helps avoid confusion and gives children a sense of stability.

2. Keep the focus on your children’s experience

The holidays are not about “winning” Christmas or keeping score. Children remember:

• Feeling calm
• Feeling included
• Feeling loved in both homes
• Having predictable plans
• Enjoying the celebrations without tension

Before making decisions, ask yourself:

“What arrangement will make the holidays easiest and happiest for the children?”

Let that guide your choices.

3. Be flexible where you can

Unexpected things happen during the holidays, illnesses, traffic delays, changing work commitments or last-minute family events.

Flexibility does not mean becoming a pushover; it means being willing to adapt when it genuinely supports the children’s wellbeing.

A good rule of thumb:

• If the change benefits the kids → consider saying yes
• If the change creates conflict or chaos → communicate calmly and revisit the plan together

Flexibility works best when it flows both ways.

4. Present a united front - even if you’re not together

Children do best when they sense cooperation between their parents. This doesn’t mean you need to be friends, only that you show respect and consistency. Some helpful tips:

• Keep adult conflict away from children
• Speak positively (or neutrally) about the other parent
• Share important information promptly
• Align on key holiday expectations where possible (bedtimes, routines, safety rules)

Even small moments of teamwork can ease your child’s worry.

5. Make transitions between homes calm and predictable

Transitions can be tough for kids, especially around Christmas when emotions run high. You can help by:

• being on time for handovers
• having bags packed and ready
• keeping goodbyes warm but unrushed
• reassuring them of the plan (“You’ll see Dad again on Boxing Day, then we’re going to the pool together”)
• avoiding conflict at handover locations.

When transitions are smooth, children feel safe moving between homes.

6. Honour important traditions... and create new ones

If children have traditions they love from previous years, consider retaining some of those where appropriate. Consistency brings comfort. 

At the same time, separation is a chance to build new traditions that reflect your new chapter:

• A special Christmas Eve breakfast
• A summer picnic
• A new set of Christmas pyjamas
• A “second Christmas” on a different date
• A holiday activity unique to your household

Children often enjoy having special rituals in both homes.

7. Avoid comparing or competing between households

It’s tempting to worry about matching gifts, activities or celebrations at the other home — but children don’t benefit from competition. What they need is:

• Emotional presence
• Warm connection
• Quality time
• Feeling valued

Kids thrive in homes where the focus is on love, not proving a point.

8. Prepare for emotional ups and downs

The holidays can bring big feelings for children, excitement, sadness, overwhelm or confusion.

You can support them by:

• keeping routines steady
• asking open questions (“How are you feeling about Christmas at both homes?”)
• allowing space for mixed emotions
• reassuring them that it’s okay to enjoy celebrations with each parent.

A calm, grounded parent makes all the difference.

9. Seek help early if conflict escalates

If communication becomes difficult or disagreements arise about Christmas arrangements:

• Mediation
• Parenting apps
• Legal advice
• A clear written plan

…can help reduce tension and protect the children from stress. Our team at Parker Coles Curtis can assist with urgent questions, reviewing arrangements, or helping prepare a plan that supports your child’s best interests.

Christmas looks different after separation, but it can still be joyful, meaningful and memorable.
With communication, flexibility and a strong child-focused approach, families can create a holiday season filled with connection, calm and cherished traditions.

If you need guidance on co-parenting, holiday arrangements or planning for the festive season, our team at Parker Coles Curtis is here to support you every step of the way.