Creating a happy holiday season for separated families

14 November 2024

As the summer holidays approach, excitement builds for families, especially children looking forward to creating joyful memories. However, for separated parents, the holiday season can bring challenges. This includes sharing time with children, travel plans, and ensuring both sides of the family can share in the holiday experience. With a focus on the well-being of the children, it’s important to prioritise cooperation and practical planning, making the season enjoyable for everyone involved.

The holidays are a time to break out of routine, explore new places, and create lasting memories. For separated families, it’s also a time to carefully balance the needs of both parents and children. Whether your plans include traveling locally or internationally, keeping communication open and considering options based on how your child may experience them as the priority, are key to ensuring a smooth and stress-free holiday.

Focus on the kids: putting their wellbeing first

When planning holiday time, the goal is to create experiences that you and your children will enjoy and remember fondly. This can sometimes be extra complicated when juggling time between both parents and even extended relatives too. Open communication, flexibility, and cooperation can go a long way in ensuring your child feels loved and supported throughout the holidays.

For parents of neurodiverse children or those with special needs, extra preparation and coordination may be necessary. This might involve discussing changes to their usual routines, explaining specific accommodation or travel arrangements or ensuring that the child’s routines are respected during the holidays. Being mindful of the children’s emotional and physical well-being can help ensure the holiday is a positive experience.

Plan ahead: update your parenting plan

One of the biggest stressors during the holiday season can be organising travel and parenting schedules. To avoid last-minute stress, it’s essential to plan ahead. Make sure your parenting plan is up to date and addresses holiday time specifically. If it doesn’t, now is the time to review it with your co-parent and make necessary adjustments.

When overseas travel is involved, double-check that your existing arrangements permit international trips. If not, you may need to obtain consent from your co-parent or legal advice and support to help facilitate travel. Always avoid booking non-refundable flights before securing the necessary permissions. Flexibility is key—offering makeup time with the other parent when your child is away with you can ease any concerns and foster goodwill.

Travel tips: communication is essential

Sharing your travel plans with your co-parent (where it is safe to do so) well in advance can help prevent misunderstandings and avoid conflict. Make sure to provide detailed information about your itinerary, where you will be staying, and how your child can be contacted while traveling.

For children, staying connected with the parent who isn’t traveling is important for maintaining their sense of security. Depending on their age and needs, setting up regular FaceTime or video calls can help them feel close, even when far away. Be realistic about time zone differences and travel schedules, and work with your co-parent to establish a plan that keeps everyone happy.

If your co-parent is the one traveling with your child, remain flexible. Unexpected delays or limited Wi-Fi access can make communication challenging and extra stressful. Avoid bringing the child into parental disagreements if plans go off course.

Safety first: prioritise wellbeing and prepare for the unexpected

While the focus of the holidays is often on fun and relaxation, safety should always come first. Make sure your child is traveling with comprehensive travel insurance and familiarise yourself with the medical facilities and local regulations at your destination. If you’re traveling overseas, keep an eye on Smart Traveller alerts and discuss with your co-parent the steps you’ll both take, if a situation in the travel destination changes during the trip.

For some parents, the cost-of-living crisis may create additional concerns around travel expenses. This is where flexibility comes in—whether it’s finding a compromise on who covers certain travel costs or agreeing to local trips instead of overseas travel, there are creative ways to keep the holidays enjoyable without breaking the bank. A stay-cation can offer much needed down-time and opportunity for ‘home-made fun!’

Necessary documents: crossing borders with kids

If your holiday plans include international travel, remember that some countries require additional documentation for children with separated parents. Make sure to gather the necessary paperwork well in advance, including consent from the non-traveling parent if required. This may involve having important documents such as birth certificates, custody agreements, or court orders available at the border.

You may also need a letter of travel consent, signed by the non-traveling parent and witnessed by a public official. Ensuring you have all necessary documents in place before departure can save time and stress when crossing borders.

Creating joyful memories for your children

Ultimately, the holidays are about creating happy memories for your children. Whether it’s through special trips, fun family traditions, or simply spending quality time together, the focus should always be on their happiness and well-being. Working together with your co-parent to plan a balanced holiday schedule can ensure that your children feel secure and loved, no matter where they spend their time.